Right, I now it's been ages since I last updated but think I shuould get back into the swing of things.

So what's happened since I last left you? We've had sex (well it would be rude not to) and it was, and has been, lots of fun!! But that's not the most important thing, it's offical, I love him, and he loves. He tells me alllllll the time that he loves me which makes me smile so so much, and I really really do love him. To start with I was skeptical, I've never reallt been in love with anyone before, so the feelings were very confusing at the begginning! Noone ever says it'll be like this, I always presumed it'd be like BANG!!! now I know I'm in love!! It wasn't like that though, it slowly creeped up on my, and took me completely by surprise.

Now don't let me fooling you all into thinking this is a love match made in heaven, just yesterday we were on the verge of calling it a day. Actually I think for a while, it must have been over. you see one of the only problems we've come across so far is not the fact he's living with someone else, but infact has something to do with one of my friends. As you all know we work together, and one of the other managers is a very good mate of mine, someone which I think the world of, but unfortunately, he doesnt like this. I don't know why, because he's assured me he trusts me, but everytime I mention him, or speak to him, I can see the emotions building up in his face? And this has caused our only two rows.

the first one wasn't that bad, with him saying he's going to get over it, an dI think it upset us both, but we got over it. But yesterday, boy did it blow up big time. It went through me beggin him not to finsih it, to him then begging me not to finsih it, then us both on the phone to each other at half twelve in the morning telling each other 'I love you'. Think if it would have ended last night I would have been devastated, ands ure at some point I'll disect the argument to you all sentence by sentence, but for the time being, I just was to push it into the past. The fact I was so close to losing him proved to me how much I need him, couldnt face not having him in my life.

So what's the plan for the future? I really, honestly don't know. All I know is that I'm scared of the fact that soon being a part time girlfriend isn't going to be enough, and I know even now it's tearing me apart that I can't be with him every minute of every day, and he shares his bed with someone that isn't me. What I do know though is that I'll be sure to keep you all updated with the developments in the secret world of me!!