Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I annoy myself at times!!!! I can't believe how up and down one person can be. One mnute I'm happy, I don't think about him, I don't care what he's up to, and I would want to be happy whatever he's doing and whoever he's doing it with. Then the next minute he's all I can think about, and I have uncontrollable urges to smack her in the face, and my stomach lurches when I think of him!!!! Arrgghhhhhh!!
Now, there's been a definite improvement, I spend a lot more time NOT thinking about him than thinking about him, but is it still normal after four weeks to still miss someone, or think about them and what they're doing? I mean I've said it before, I've never loved anyone before him, so all this splitting up thing is new to me. How long am I meant to miss him for? Two weeks? Two months? Two years?!?!
Honestly now though, depsite what I say on my bad days, I do want him to be happy. He still means enough to me for me to say that I want him to be truely happy in whatever he does (just a shame he doesn't want me involved in his plans anymore!!!)I know he won't read this, but I want to say it anyway......Lee I hope that whatever you do in your life, may it be now or in the future, I hpe it's want you want and it makes you happy. Despite everything I've ever said to you, I didn't mean any of it. I don't, never have, and never will hate you. You were, and still are, one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You made me feel special, and made me happy when I was sad. You listened to me when I moaned, and comforted me when I cried. I'm sorry, and always will be, for the way things turned out, i just wish I could turn back time and make everything better. What we had was amazing. Thankyou.
